People Are Parasites: The Church of Euthanasia

Suicide, abortion, cannibalism, and sodomy are not subjects one would ever associate with a church. That is unless said church is the Church of Euthanasia. The Church of Euthanasia (CoE) holds these four principals as its pillars of faith, seeing them as a Christian would see the Ten Commandments. Started by musician Chris Korda (shown above), the church's main commandment is "Thou Shall Not Procreate". The CoE does whatever it takes to highlight the overpopulation problems that plague the Earth. From protesting pro-life rallies with crucified blow up dolls to posting videos of the attacks on the world trade center paired with porn, the CoE never fails to shock the hell out of America. Just look at this lovely photo of a church billboard:

It's definitely a harsh way to get their point across, but hey, that's the CoE! If you wanted flowers and peace you obviously belong somewhere else. With so many organizations that call for loving oneself it's certainly interesting to see one that says what we all think at one time or another... humans really can suck. To sum it all up in the words of Rev. Chris Korda:

"Great Spirit, I am unworthy; My species has disgraced itself. Of all the species that live, or have ever lived, Mine is the lowliest."

Some Sites to Check Out:

The church's website

The church's Wikipage

P.S. We at the Hem haven't seen much about the CoE lately. If anyone out there is a member we would certainly appreciate some updates!

P.S.S. It's understood that not all of our readers will appreciate the CoE. We're open to any opinions about the subject matter or organizations that you may consider interesting. Much love darlings!

Money, Money, Money: The Things You Can Do With 700 BILLION Dollars

The Bailout plan was turned down in the House today. Maybe those curious politicians got a look at our little list of.......

Things You Could Do With 700 BILLION Dollars

• Buy braces for all of the children in France and Great Britain
• Put a bid on Denmark or Iceland
• Buy gas for every adult in America for a year
• Give every person on earth 10 monopoly games
• Buy a Rolex for every woman in the U.S.
• Get 373 basketballs for every child in the United States
• Give a Hummer to everyone living in Cuba (11 million people)
• Purchase 438 pounds of rice for every person in Africa
• Give everyone on this planet $100
• Buy an island in the Caribbean for every person living in South Dakota
• Give all of your spare cash to the Hem.

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Green Porno: Insects Are Hot Too!

Insects are constantly in the mood to get down. Isabella Rossellini (Blue Velvet's leading babe) takes the viewer in the world of insect sex in the Sundance Channel show Green Porno. The show is very interesting, a pure work of art on Rossellini's part. She embraces the role of each insect with pure unadulterated passion. Even more interesting is the quiz that Sundance offers as a promotion for the show. It's a series of 24 questions that are supposed to decide what type of insect love sense you have. After taking this quiz, the Hem found that we are apparently horny flies (or players as the sub caption says). We are the prostitutes of the insect world and our self confidence is failing horrifically because of it. Find out your insect porno style here. You might just be a sexually deviant 6 legged critter too!

Rant Of The Week: Fat Rant!!

This is an amazing rant. A beautiful girl tells the world what she thinks of being fat and does a damn good job at doing it too. We give this one an A++ because fat chiccas are some of the coolest beings out there (it's about time someone said it). Kisses darlings!

PETA Always Saves the Breast For Last!

Yeah, you've heard all about the PETA/Ben and Jerry's breast milk fiasco. Don't worry, your favorite ice cream won't be tasting of mother's milk anytime soon. The most interesting thing we could find about this already used up story is the fact that the price of breast milk is always brought up by people who have commented on these videos. Many worry that the price of breast milk is too high. Here's the real dilemma, how much does breast milk actually cost? Is there a milk bank somewhere that the rest of the world is unaware of? Apparently yes. The sale of breast milk is becoming quite popular online. The average price of the motherly love seems to be $2-3 an ounce. Who knew the children of America were sucking on milky goldmines? Throw out the usual chateau haut brion, we're sipping breast juice tonight!

Tis A Strange, Strange World!

The world is absolutely INSANE. Charles Fort is one of the few gifted human beings to have ever understood this concept. He understood it so well, in fact, that he profited off of it. Fort is best known for his books on the paranormal. The word fortean meaning strange or unexplained phenomena is actually derived from his name. Fort is certainly a model Samaritan in the world of the weird. In honor of such greatness today's post is dedicated to one of his most famous works, The Book of the Damned. This book focuses on strange occurrences such as UFOs and various objects raining from the sky. It's been read by scholars and crackpots alike and now it is free for you (our faithful readers) to devour. Enjoy!

Special thanks to sacred-texts.com!

The Incredible Edible Leigh Bowery

You are walking down a hot street. The sun beats down on your flaming skull as you drag yourself through another day in the indifferent city. You find yourself passing by the same boring flies on the asses of humanity as you make your way through the winding corridors of urban living. Cast down, you make yourself completely oblivious to the world around you. It seems like the average weekday afternoon.... until you see a gigantic cloth covered humanoid walking your way. A humanoid with bright red lips, a tall frame, and a gaudy dress to boot. You watch in shock as the head to toe fabric explosion passes by you, swaying with the sounds of the street. What the hell? Are you under the influence of some new psychedelic? Has god decided to play a trick on your poor soul? Nope. You've been officially touched by the genius of Leigh Bowery.

Leigh Bowery is perhaps the most fabulous thing to have ever come out of Australia (sorry kangas, you lose). When he was a boy he loved to sew and talk gossip with his mother's friends. Bowery took his talent for sewing as well as his gift for gab to London in 1980. There he would blossom from a nobody to the stunning work of art that he is known for today. He plunged himself into a polysexual play land with tantalizing designs and bizarre feminine outerwear. In 1985 he started a uproarious jungle of a nightclub named Taboo. There Bowery would flaunt in his new styles, dance hyperactivity, and randomly embarrass everyone he met. His energy and love for life pushed his work onto the masses. Soon he became the centerfold for everything awe worthy and strange. He was not the artist, he was the art. His work soon reached other areas such as music and even dance. It seemed as if nothing could stop his booming career. Nothing, that is, but the hand of death itself.

Bowery's personal life mirrored much of what his art represented. He was known for odd trysts with odd individuals. Sex was the unexplored playground that he longed to run merrily in. Sadly, his experimental lifestyle eventually caught up with him. On December 31, 1994 he died of AIDS, he was only 33. The inspiration he brought to this world lives on forever in the works of artists such as Boy George and The Scissor Sisters who defy the laws of culture and taste alike. Leigh Bowery was a legend in his own right, a towering inferno above the skies of conformity. With one look at his maniacal painted face one can see that same conviction that lied in his bright booming eyes so long ago. It's a conviction that says Goddammit, I'm going to flaunt this dress and you are going to fucking love it baby!, it's a conviction that starts miracles, it's a conviction that makes infants cry, it's a conviction that could only belong to the chemical waterfall that is Leigh Bowery.