Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Ummm, BLT!

Yeah, it's random. It's also delicious. Like you don't want to jump into the computer and gobble this baby down. Ummm, BLT!

Hot Heavy Amputee Action

It's called acrotomophilia and it's defined as a fetish for amputees. It sounded innocent enough to our ears, that is until we saw this very video. Watch out kiddies, this is for adults ONLY!

Talk about giving a new meaning to having a foot put up your ass!

Thanks to for the video!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Everyday Should Be Charles Crumb Day

(Image courtesy of

The Hem declares today Charles Crumb day. This great brother of an amazing artist was a true gift to the world and thus must be remembered with his own holiday. For those of you who don't know who Charles is, here's the wiki article.
A simple blog post won't do this artist justice. We propose hats and fancy banners. False teeth decorated with a Treasure Island motif will fill Charles Crumb stockings!
Never before had the world seen such a profound symbol of brutal honesty. Charles is that feeling you get right before you cry, the one where you feel kind of sick as your eyes fill with tears. Charles lived inside of his bedroom where his only company was the books that filled his humble abode. He didn't go out at all, he didn't even have to bathe anymore. The tranquilizers were trying desperately to soothe his troubled mind. The mind of a true genius. Charles only had one job, and it didn't last long. The hellish time he had with his father made deep scars in his heart.
In order to celebrate Charles Crumb day you must truly feel Charles Crumb like. First, we suggest watching the movie Crumb, but only fast forwarding to the parts where Charles makes his humble appearances or he is mentioned. Hell, you might as well watch the rest of the movie too if you have time. It's really very amazing. You can find it here.
Next, get as many books as possible from "Victorian writers" and read away. Creativity is wild in those who can take themselves to a new land.
Lastly, spend some time alone. Solitude is good for the soul. It's amazing how clear the world can become when you can hear yourself think.
Do all of these things and you will surely be praising the memory of Charles Crumb. Happy Charles Crumb Day! We love you Charles!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Bye Bye Dollie!!

Oh this is rich! It's considered to be a "craft" but it looks more like "evidence". Heh, something tells us that the Bratz bitch deserved it. She was smoothin with your brother! For all of you out there who didn't catch it, that was a Home Alone 2 joke. Hooray for random incorporation of 90s movies!

See the carnage here


Emotion of The Day: Insecurity

The Internet is an exciting and complex place. We imagine that at parties the Internet is the douche bag who stands in the middle of the room with a crowd huddled around him telling adventure stories that sound too good to be true (who the fuck still climbs Everest?) He's the guy who makes you want to cry and reexamine your own dull existence. He's sure to make you feel insecure (talk about a great segway into our topic at hand! thank you, thank you).

Everyone's felt insecurity from time to time....unless of course you are a psychopath but that's for a different post. Anything can set off the insecurity bug from not having the right clothes to having a girlfriend who admits bit by bit everyone she's been intimate with as you are driving home already depressed (that one hit a little too close to home!) It's a new year, why not a new homage to an emotion we'd like to leave behind? Let's ride the insecurity bus!

This is cute, but we don't know if you'd really call it a quiz. You check off what makes you insecure and it gives you little affirmations to make you feel better. If you feel really bad you can even switch the afirmations around to make yourself feel worse! For example:

You check off: I am envious of others sometimes.

Which comes up as: Remember that everything anyone else has is not outside of you. You can have it, too!

Reality Check: This seems sweet and nice at first, but it makes no fucking sense whatsoever. If someone had something and I could have it too why the hell would I be jealous about it?

It takes the true sensitivity of an artist to be able to point out all of the little flaws they see in themselves everyday and label a picture with said flaws. Cheryl McLaughlin does just this in her piece titled My Insecurities. In these two pictures McLaughlin is stripped down to just a bra and panties. The pictures are labeled with different insecurities such as love handles and frizzy hair. It's vulnerability to the max and it's sure to make you feel better if you suffer from some of the same insecurities. You're not alone!

So we've delved into the deepest reaches of insecurity and what have we found? Are you a shaking in your boots insecure nutcase too? Good! Just remember, you've always got a friend in the Hem!!

Monday, December 15, 2008


Sorry that the Hem has been offline for such a long time folks! You see, I was recently broken up with (in public I may add) and the embarassing "in public" tears flew. I was also completely floored. It's hard not to think about revenge after a deed like that one. Enter Revenge the best site for all things revenge related. I've been on there forever just trying to make myself feel better. The "cheated on" stories are especially heart warming!

Plotting revenge? Then click here!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Unassisted Birth: Crazy or Genius?

Imagine you are in a hospital room as a pregnant woman gives birth. Nurses surround her as her screams and breathing become heavier. The doctor demands her to PUSH and suddenly the baby is thrusted into this world screaming. The nurses take the baby away to clean it as the mother lies back tired. Soon she is presented with her little bundle of life. Happily ever after...for some. For others the idea of being surrounded by machines drugged up as strangers pull their child out of their body is horrifying. They would rather have the experience of childbirth on their own. Enter the unassisted birth movement. Practitioners of unassisted birth give birth without any medical help during the birth. They take in the pain on their own usually in their own home. Many advocates of unassisted birth say that when the mother gives birth on her own she has the opportunity to listen to her own body and lessen her own pain. Opponents of unassisted birth believe that giving birth without medical help is a terrible idea because it puts both the mother and child in danger.

The above video is of a woman named Clio giving unassisted birth. Her husband films as she silently pushes out the baby. It's really a remarkable thing to watch regardless of what one believes. By the way, it features nudity.... so you've been warned.

If you are interested in unassisted birth there is a very interesting website called Born Free that provides a good amount of information on the topic. We're very interested in anyone who has given unassisted birth and has a story that they would like to share. We'd love to post your story on the blog. Send any stories to