Romance By You: Creepy Or Extremely Creepy?

The world loves personalized junk. Remember those cute personalized licence plates your aunt used to give you every time she came back from her vacation to Florida? The ones that just scream: I really was drunk my entire vacation and didn't think of getting you a souvenir at all! Here's a cheap piece of sweatshop molded plastic with your name on it that I happened to find at the last minute! Boy that was great! Personalized crap is as American as apple pie!
Perhaps these statements were running through the heads of the individuals who thought that it would be NEAT to create personalized romance novels. Yes, personalized romance novels. Who doesn't love seeing their name in the same sentence as spewed beautiful love fluid? What could possibly wrong about taking a childlike approach to a trashy book topic? Personalized romance novels are definitely wrong, but they are wrong in a way that feels so right. Just look at this excerpt from the Hem's personalized preview. We really couldn't think of anyone in particular, so we used the names of child television characters. Let the abomination begin:

"Slowly Big Bird pushed Dora the Explorer back onto the hood of the car, then eased the hem of her dress up until he could feel the soft, sensuous curve of her buttocks. She pressed closer to him, sighing in response, as Big Bird began kissing her neck. “When did you fall in love with me?” he whispered into her ear. Dora the Explorer pulled her head away and looked into his black eyes. “I thought you’d forgotten I told you. With your memory loss after the accident...” “It was the first thing that came back to me.” He smiled and entwined his hand through her black hair. “You said you loved me. I think that’s the only thing I’ve really been able to keep in my head all day.” “I hope you’ll remember it longer than that,” she said jokingly, although her brown-eyed gaze suddenly turned solemn. “Why didn’t you say anything about it earlier?” “I wanted to wait until the time was right.” He kissed her forehead with tenderness and murmured against her skin: “I love you, Dora the Explorer.” Dora the Explorer didn’t respond with words, but met his lips with her own and kissed Big Bird until both were dizzy with longing. Unable to deny their desire any longer, in moments they were naked beneath the blanket. Dora the Explorer leaned forward until she was a breath away and whispered lustfully, “Gentleman, start your engine.”

If you thought that was bad, check out the range of topics you can choose from! From medieval to western, there's a book to soothe your need for hardcore book perversion!

Come on, you know you wanna!