Who Ya Gonna Call?: Hilarious Hotlines

Hotlines anyone? Sure, they aren't so popular anymore (unless you happen to live in my area where most of the people live in the 1980s anyway) but they are another embarrassing reminder of the past. We've all had that one time where we have called one of these numbers just to check them out and end up spending a fortune for our curiosity. All of these services are probably shut down by now, so you can watch, laugh, and not pay a dime! Don't you just love technology?


Crying Number




Really? There was actually a crying number out there? As if sobbing isn't an awkward enough activity, let's call up a random stranger to sob to! Most of the people on the commercial look like they are passing kidney stones. They need a doctor, not an unsympathetic phone operator!

Creep Phone



It's nice to see that the chainsaw wielding murders and the back alley pedophiles are becoming working members of society again. Little Billy always has a friend in the creeps! And for only 2 dollars? Consider it done!

Women's Secret Confessions



Dom Dom. They use Jessica Hahn as a spokesperson! Imagine spending 10 bucks to hear about Jim Bakker's sex life. Urgh.

Telepassions


They're hot, sexy, and Canadian! Help that poor girl! She's having head convulsions! Her head just won't. stop. spinning! Even better is the maple leaf that flies between the girls like some raunchy sign of hardcore phone lovin. ROWSDOWER!